shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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