I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
