I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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