Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize