apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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