but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize