He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
