She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
