Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Sorry about my life...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
