yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
