tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize