Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize
