Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
