When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
nutella sex= disaster
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
