Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
