yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
