and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
