i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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