bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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