Christians are straight up FREAKS
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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