This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
