Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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