i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
