He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize