he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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