But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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