I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
