yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
