you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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