I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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