bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
