He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
