wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
