He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
