You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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