don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
