i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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