Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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