I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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