The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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