I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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