She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
