he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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