so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
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