when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
