you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize