You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
