Already got asked if we're dating
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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