a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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