what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
