i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
