I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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