I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize