I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
