Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
