just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
