my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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