It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i think i just lost a toe
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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