too bad you live with your parents still
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
