If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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