whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
