You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Mom said you looked used
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
