similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
