Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
