Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize